Roller coaster ride ...
The roller coaster ride of emotions are said to be experienced by adolescents going through their puberty period where the hormones are seeking to find its balance in the human body. I'm definitely way past my teenage years. In fact, I'm at the point where I can even consider myself old. Hence I guess my hormones should have sorted themselves out long ago.
So what is wrong with me?
Why am I having such extreme mood swings?
Why do I wake up in the middle of the night full of fears?
Why can't I sleep?
Why do I care so much for things that I should not have?
Where do I go from here? What do I have to go on? Had this conversation with one of my colleagues, was talking about what's the aim and goals of our pathetic life. The reply given me was "Most people will aimlessly go by day to day till the day they die".
Perhaps then we should just die earlier to save ourselves from this mindless, aimless, futile wandering?
Funny, but a friend contacted me when I posted the question on my MSN. She just broke up with her boyfriend one day before her 21st birthday. Had quite a long conversation with her, however, I found it quite odd as she was the one who initiated the separation. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm very "old-fashioned". Does devotion worth or mean anything in this present day context? Can you be with someone you do not have any feelings for? Can you try first and decide later? If you have feelings for the person and you're with him/her, why would you decide to separate path? If you have no feelings for the person, why be together in the first place? I don't think there's any right or wrong here, just how you feel with your heart that's all.
I do not have any answers, if I do, I won't be here right now. Perhaps I'm just doing myself in. Perhaps I must learn to stop listening to my heart and not let my feelings get the better of me.
So what is wrong with me?
Why am I having such extreme mood swings?
Why do I wake up in the middle of the night full of fears?
Why can't I sleep?
Why do I care so much for things that I should not have?
Where do I go from here? What do I have to go on? Had this conversation with one of my colleagues, was talking about what's the aim and goals of our pathetic life. The reply given me was "Most people will aimlessly go by day to day till the day they die".
Perhaps then we should just die earlier to save ourselves from this mindless, aimless, futile wandering?
Funny, but a friend contacted me when I posted the question on my MSN. She just broke up with her boyfriend one day before her 21st birthday. Had quite a long conversation with her, however, I found it quite odd as she was the one who initiated the separation. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm very "old-fashioned". Does devotion worth or mean anything in this present day context? Can you be with someone you do not have any feelings for? Can you try first and decide later? If you have feelings for the person and you're with him/her, why would you decide to separate path? If you have no feelings for the person, why be together in the first place? I don't think there's any right or wrong here, just how you feel with your heart that's all.
I do not have any answers, if I do, I won't be here right now. Perhaps I'm just doing myself in. Perhaps I must learn to stop listening to my heart and not let my feelings get the better of me.
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