I wish ...

Rainbows have lost their colours, flowers have lost their scent. No longer do I hear the sound of the wind, rustling through the trees; no longer do the tips of my fingers tells me what I've touched. Everything looks gray, the silence around me deafening. Where has the sound of my heartbeat gone, where has the thump of my heart beating disappeared to. The numbness of the emptiness is even more unbearable then the pain. Science tells me that it is the brain that does thinking. It's the brain that allows me to feel emotions. The heart is nothing but a big piece of muscle that delivers blood to the various parts of my body. Then tell me, why is it that it's the heart that feels like life is been squeezed out of you? Why does it feel like a blade has been struck right in the middle and mercilessly twisted?

At the end of all things, what really does matters? We are after all, pieces of meat walking around, a collection of carbon composites. In the end, nothing really matters at all. Earthly pursues, worldly desires, nothing but delusions. Why do we all languish in such pitiful emotions that we cannot understand? Its time to let it all go, why do I even try when each and every time it has brought me nothing but pain and despair. I can only hope that what they say is true.

They say in death, all things become clear. I certainly hope so. Perhaps then, this fool will finally know ...